Online dating what to say in a first message

Here are some online dating message tips to help you write something that has a high chance of getting a Online Dating First Message.
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Exactly What To Say In A First Message – The OkCupid Blog

Mentioning something yummy-sounding works just as well on dating apps. In fact, it literally stimulates your brain and makes you feel good. And the better she feels about talking to you, the more likely she is to share her number. The example above is more suited for a dating site where longer messages are the norm, but you can get her talking about herself on a dating app with a short message like this:. Those three elements are crucial if you want to get a response to your online dating opener. Weekday evenings are generally best — many women unwind from a long day at work by firing up a dating app while catching up on Netflix.

According to Nielsen , activity on both OkCupid and Tinder peaks at 9 pm, and usage starts to rapidly decline after 10 pm. On Bumble, the real action starts a little earlier, with activity peaking at 6 pm.

First Message Strategy #1: Go For Laughs

And if you happen to find yourself stuck inside due to inclement weather like a blizzard, hurricane or rainstorm, put these first message examples to good use. NBC News did a little investigating, and found that bad weather goes hand in hand with increased activity on dating sites and apps. In many cases, the increase was pretty dramatic. Send her a light-hearted follow up message like this one:. The more messages you send, the more desperate you look.

11 Online Dating First Message Examples That Get Responses

Messages using words like beautiful and sexy will more often than not end up getting deleted immediately. Better to focus on interests, or even better, common interests.


  1. First Message Online Dating Formula That Works (With Examples).
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  3. First Message Strategy #2: Connect On Common Ground!

Talking about your own interests can give the recipient a good idea of what you are like. Nothing starts a conversation quicker than a question, so do yourself a huge favour and simply ask one. I know this is not marketing school but, like a marketer, you are trying to reel someone in. And just like an ad agency makes a call to action, you can too, by simply asking about an interest or even suggesting a dinner date.

There’s more to it than you think

Unless you are actively seeking a partner of a specific faith, then it is probably a good idea to leave out any religious words in your first message. Religion is always a bit of a minefield in the dating game and you really need to be careful not to offend anyone or risk being offended yourself.

Online Dating: What you should NOT say in a first message!!

Strange how in the world of dating we have always been told that self confidence is extremely attractive, but the opposite holds true with regards to online dating. Putting yourself down or being a little shy or awkward can come across rather endearing. Whereas as over confidence can often be a turn off in a first message.

Using the words, awkward, sorry, and apologise gets better results when sending a first message to a woman but not so to a man. The word pretty is a perfect case study for our point. But very pretty is almost always used to describe the way something or someone looks, and you can see how that works out.


  • Exactly What To Say In A First Message!
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  • We took a close look at salutations. The more informal standard greetings: There are many words on the effective end of our list like zombie , band , tattoo , literature , studying , vegetarian yes! Talking about specific things that interest you or that you might have in common with someone is a time-honored way to make a connection, and we have proof here that it works.

    Awkward , sorry , apologize , kinda , and probably all made male messages more successful, yet none of them except sorry affects female messages.


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    • 11 Online Dating First Message Examples That Get Responses.
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    • A lot of real-world dating advice tells men to be more confident, but apparently hemming and hawing a little works well online. It could be that appearing unsure makes the writer seem more vulnerable and less threatening.